Never give up (as defined from never give out).

I have just been told by a lady friend that she has given up trying to find a delicious man!

I can see that I am going to have to adopt a serious tone, slip my reading glasses down onto the end of my nose, and have a stern word with her!

When it comes to finding a gorgeous man, a woman must never give up!

Now, I know that statistically there are more women than men in New Zealand and that men die earlier than women (this has, to me, always seemed to be a rather extreme way of getting away from her nagging) but these disadvantages don’t mean that one should ever give up hope of finding a live one.

For starters, I suspect that the excess women thing is all hype generated by dating sites eager to get as many women on them hunting for men as there are men hunting for women.

In truth, the excess number of available women has been greatly exaggerated. And dating site bachelors like me can attest to that.

The truth is that so many women these days are unobtainium, and for so many reasons.

One is that more women that man seem to turn all religious and unavailable to earthy (I said earthy, not dirty!) men like me. After all, anyone can see that there are many more nuns than priests, much to the relief of Mother Superiors and to the dismay of horny nuns and good-looking choirboys.

Another reason some women are unobtanium is because there are hundreds of otherwise-eligible and sensible women who have inexplicably sworn off all men, even absolutely hunky ones like me. As I’m sure that you will agree, this is as understandable as anyone not wanting to eat tripe!

And then there are those women who have a sexual preference for other women, despite the fact that they don’t have suitable … er … equipment for mating and that they will miss out on such enjoyable things as listening in regularly to an earnest discussion on the advantages of a V8 over an in-line six. Not to mention not having someone to retrieve the half-dead mouse the cat has left under the bed.

Then there is menopause and its side effects … But I won’t go there.

This means that there are thousands fewer women eager to snap up any delicious hunk of manhood you may espy poking up, panting, above the horizon.

Admittedly, there aren’t all that many delicious hunks of manhood poking up above the horizon at the best of times. Most pokers fall well short of the tasteful category, let alone deliciousness. While this may mean that you may have to settle for second best occasionally, what starving woman would refuse a McDonald’s Big Mac just because it isn’t a Gourmet Burger?

On the other hand, available women do have to exercise some restraint when it comes to taking what’s on offer. A lady friend of mine recently had a disturbing experience with a male acquaintance who turned into a stalker that even a court order couldn’t completely deter. I still can’t understand why she didn’t just set up a trap, nab the guy, and put his testicles through a mincer. This tends to remove a stalker’s aggressive tendencies in one short grind.

Then again, maybe only a man would have thought of that idea. See, there are many advantages to having men-friends … and that is why you should *never* give up on your search.