I've been a busy boy.

I have been developing a resource booklet for the motorcycle riding course I’m running soon, printing it out, and assembling it, etc. That's always a hassle, but it didn't help that my inkjet printer colour cartridge ran out, so I had to buy a new one. So I ordered in a cartridge from a firm in Wellington but of course they sent the wrong cartridge. So I went to Stationery Wharehouse here in Masterton and bought a generic refill thinking it was a bargain. The official ones cost $54 while the refills cost $42. But the refill ran out after only printing 720 pages! (Less actually because all the pages didn't have colour on them). The cartridges usually print about 2000 copies!) So the extra $14 for an official one is worthwhile spending!

Anyway, I sent the course resources away today and then took my car in for a WOF. It was booked in for yesterday but I forgot! But I know the owner and he did it for me today. Partly because I gave him my kid's novel and told him that his firm and firm's phone number was in the story...

While the car got its the WOF, he, of course, found about $500 worth of work that needed to be done on it. ~sigh~

And when I left the car with him and went for a walk while he did the WOF, along the road I must have stepped funny because I got a sore leg. At least it was a change. Things to do with WOFs are usually a pain in the neck. I seem to have pulled a muscle in my right leg. I now have a limp. (I should point out here that nothing comes after the word “limp” in that sentence...)

So I limped to the library only to find that they don’t even have a copy of my Dating Diary book in the library. Maybe it’s too naughty for them!

I have also been working on restoring my trailer. The man at the hardware store gave me these neat screws that drill their way through wood or metal as if it isn’t there. So I have now attached my plywood bottom (Now, now…!) to the frame and my trailer is now looking more like a trailer than a mobile cattle stop.

Geez it’s been hot here today. I’ve had a fan going inside with all the doors open. The flies come in one door and are blown out the other. It’s cool inside, but if you go outside, you roast. It’s so hot that even the butterflies were sweating! And they have built-in fans.

Today I got an email that said:
“We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more information in our heads. So I'm not fat, I'm just really intelligent and my head couldn't hold any more, so it started filling up the rest of me!”

This of course explains why information-laden older guys like me are not quite as slim and lithe as younger guys. But it also raises an interesting question:
When a woman takes her clothes off and a guy gets excited, is the swelling because he’s learning lots?

Not that I know much about that, of course. I’m still learning (and swelling). But a mate has just told me a great ploy for seduction. The idea is to remind your lady friend on a cold night that men have higher body temperatures than women. So it makes sense to sleep next to a man like me. My mate said to tell her she should look on me as an electric blanket with an interesting on/off switch.

Then again, that’s all very well for him, but I just can't seem to convince women that I'm the kind of man who deserves to have the kind of women I don't deserve.

I’ve always found women to be real jigsaw puzzles. With pieces missing. And, like any jigsaw puzzle, if the bit isn’t right, you just can’t fit it in.

But we men always run into the “understanding woman” problem. I was talking about understanding women to a married friend of mine the other day and said I wish women came with instructions.

He spluttered, raised his eyebrows and said: “They do come with instructions. And they give them to you all the time”

He’s right, of course. I just need to think back to my marriage to remember that I used to always be the silent, attentive-type. It made her think that I was listening.

I still don't completely understand women, even though I’ve spent a lot of time studying women from afar. Well, at least out of handbag range.

It hasn’t helped one bit. There’s a chasm of understanding between us. I mean, how many times have you heard women say that men are scared of commitment? Yet if a woman doesn’t want to get too close, she calls it independence.

So next time a woman tells me that men are scared of commitment I’m going to quote Dave Barry:
"Contrary to what many women believe, it's fairly easy to develop a long-term, stable, intimate, and mutually fulfilling relationship with a male. Of course, the male has to be a Labrador retriever."

Now, where’s my collar and registration tag?