Last year the Duke of York came to New Zealand to visit. I never read anything about it in the papers, so whether or not he had his 10,000 men with him I am not sure. But, since New Zealand has 20,000 more women than men, I suspect that Kiwi women would have checked that out.

Just so that you know, The Duke of York laid a wreath at the national war memorial and the Tomb of the Unknown Warrior in Wellington. This means, of course, that the grand young Duke of York must have marched his ten thousand men up one of them Wellington hills to lay the wreath and then he must have marched them down again.

So I find myself wondering whether any Kiwi woman lay in wait somewhere about half way up that there hill in order to snaffle one of the 10,000 for an overdue bit of nookie. Not realising that this would be a waste of time since, by the time all of them men had got up that hill, they'd have been so stuffed they'll be of absolutely no use to anyone!

Even so, this was an admirable opportunity for Kiwi women to get a very desirable man. Indeed, I have been told that these ten thousand men have admirable characteristics for ladies. Apparently, when they're up, they're up.

Although, sadly, when they are down, they are down.

And, worse still, when they are only half way up... Well, it's either a matter of changing position, or else it’s the time during the march to grab them quick.

The moral of this story is, of course. When the Duke of York comes visiting, forget the Internet dating sites and try for the real thing.